Church Shopping

The sanctuary is already warm from all the people crammed together; it seems closer when you notice all the wide gestures and people scrambling to find seats near their family and friends. They are laughing and the band has already begun to play praise and worship music; you can hear the flute mingling with the piano and the drums. Then, the pastor leaps on to the raised platform; his face is flushed and you can tell that he’s trying to draw everyone’s attention to the front. At first, they ignore him and continue to talk; then, finally, when he folds his hands together and starts to rock on his heels, the murmurs cease and the praise music draws to a close as well. He scans the audience quickly and thunders out, “Welcome to New City Fellowship!” You wonder why you are sitting in the seat by the aisle directly in the center of the room when he asks all first time visitors present to stand up. A woman with an enormous grin stretched across her face hands you a navy blue folder and shakes your hand. Blushing, you accept the folder and sit down as quickly as courtesy requires.

Shopping for a new church never fails to be a humiliating experience. In their hurry to welcome you, they invite you to dinners and a bible study that just started and smile at you. A lot. In other words, they expect you to stick around; they expect you to make a commitment. Yep, you got it, the c-word. Joining a church or regular attendance at a church is like signing a contract. Not the typical kind of contract that you would see in a housing agreement but a contract in which you are making an emotional agreement. They expect to see you at least once a week and learn about who you are and what God is teaching you in your life. You’ve done this before at other churches though or at least you’ve tried to. There was that Lutheran church freshman year which you had no transportation to or friends attending; then there was that one Sunday at Grace Church (way too Pentecostal for your tastes); then there was the Fairview Baptist Church downtown which you liked but when it split into two churches, you left with your friends; then there was Spotswood, a mega-church with an awesome Sunday school teacher, when he left, things just went downhill from there; then finally, here you are, church shopping once again (or as your friend Ryan says in his lisping voice, “Now I have to go church shopping instead of club hopping!” You don’t really get it either).

Praise and worship is at its peak. The pianist sways a bit to the music as if she is caught in some kind of invisible current. You are surprised by the diverse music selection as you attempt to sing a song in Swahili. They are all so enthusiastic. You notice this one woman who is standing in the row of chairs near the front; she has on a tailored white suit and her dark hands are lifted high in worship. Sunlight that is streaming in through the glass door in the front of the sanctuary lends a somewhat ethereal light to her figure. You sense peace and joy in this congregation. When Pastor Bob Becker mounts the raised platform at the front to deliver the sermon, “Our Obedience and Fearing God,” his gray-brown mustache quivers with excitement. Several times during the sermon, he calls out, “Can I get an amen to that?” and several members of the congregation eagerly pipe up, “Amen!” the more eager ones adding a “Hallelujah” to that.

There was a study done a while back which concluded that one individual can only form meaningful relationships with seven other people at one time. Joining a church is the equivalent of attempting to establish meaningful relationships with about three times what the study concluded. Of course, the only meaningful relationship that the church serves to facilitate is the one with Christ but then you have to add all the people who make up the congregation into the equation. Gandhi understood what makes it so complicated, “Oh, I don't reject your Christ. I love your Christ. It's just that so many of you Christians are so unlike your Christ.” Learning to accept that humans are prone to err in this life is difficult; thus you shop for church that is “perfect,” an impossible task you realize as the pastor stands once again on the raised platform after you and the rest of the congregation have finished singing “Power in the Blood.” He lifts wide his hands and extends an invitation to those who need prayers of healing to stay in the sanctuary at the service’s conclusion. You never thought about becoming a Presbyterian before but after this morning, you are considering it.