They won't even see it coming

The cockroaches I mean. Just yesterday, I was minding my own business (reading Bleak House, of course) when a creature of magnificent proportions scuttled across the floor of my dorm room. I freaked out. Yes, the girlish scream and the standing on furniture and all that. This is the same girl who used to go kill the evil crickets for my older sister when we were younger. Maybe it's just the fact that cockroaches are really, really icky (for lack of a more apt word). This one, whom I have named King Creeper III, had the nerve to come out in full daylight into the very center of the carpet!

So amidst my screaming and Ashley (my roommate) telling me to calm down, it scuttles off to the edge of the carpet. Ashley, cup in hand, tells me grab a paper so that she can capture the thing. THIS IS WAR. There are no prisoners of war in this battle; I want blood. I grab part of the worship bulletin from Sunday's service at New Life, hand it to her, and she approaches the King slowly...that's when he scurries away into Ashley's closet. EW. So I'm tricked into thinking that the pestilence is contained...WRONG. I'm told later that cockroaches can easily creep underneath doors or any small entrance. Oh yeah, to make things even better, I'm told that for every cockroach you see, there are about 60-1,000 of his friends who are also making their residence close by.

As I write this, I am furiously stamping my feet and have all the lights on because according to my research, cockroaches don't like light or noise. You can imagine how much I was stamping when I was actually conducting the research and looking at the pictures and learning their habits (whoever said that these critters are clean creatures lied; they are not).

I have a solution; much akin to the Final Solution but with a much better end in mind. I found (also on wikipedia) a trap that is really inexpensive to make called the Vegas roach trap: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vegas_roach_trap I can't wait to finish eating the pickles I have in the fridge so I can actually make one.

ARGH. How did I let myself get here? I need to read 70 pages of Bleak House tonight! Yikes and good night.