Don't be fooled by the title of this post. The news to which I am referring is not life changing nor is it earth shattering (that might be an expression that I just made up). I am merely bringing up the sensation of receiving news of both natures in a very short period of time. Yes, that nauseating roller coaster sensation except instead of starting on the ground and shooting up into the air, receiving the good news first feels like you have started off somewhere in the sky and the bad news is what plummets you back to the ground. All you have left at the end of this roller coaster ride is queasiness in the pit of your stomach and breath caught in your chest, unable to fully exhale.
Shall I begin with the good news? I received a letter today from Brinker International, aka, Romano's Macaroni Grill. I was a hostess at this restaurant during my senior year of high school and into the summer. Anyways, the letter (which I no longer have in my possession since I put in in another envelope with my signature and blessings and posted immediately) said something to the effect of "we owe you $189 and some change, please provide your telephone number, and a signature and we'll mail it to you asap." YES. Normally I get things in the mail that ask me for money so it is a rare surprise for money to flow the other way towards me. With all the expenses of England coming up, this is a blessing to be certain! Thank you God for almost $200 that I didn't expect!
So with all good things in life, bad things always accompany (wow, this sounds pessimistic). The thorns with the roses, as they say--or do they? My sister called within five minutes of me finding out about this lost paycheck of mine to tell us that she's coming home early from training. I'd rather not go into the details of this in such a public setting but I will say that this will devastate my parents. Since I'm not really going to be home that much in this next month, I will probably not see her much. Does that sound callous? Yes, probably but it's impossible to relate our entire history in a blog. When I was younger, I would read The Sweet Valley High books--don't judge, that was quality literature back then-- and fantasize about what it would be like to have a sister that I actually got along with. Kelly and I get along better now that many, many miles separate us but we've never really had that wholesome relationship that encompasses long conversations, shared jokes, nights on the town (not that I really go out for many, if any, "nights on the town" but it was merely part of the illustration). Many of my friends do have very close relationships with their sisters and sometimes, I envy them.
God gives each of us different trials in our lives and to avoid the risk of merely throwing platitudes around, I shall not try to paint myself as some kind of brilliant heroine here. All too often, I take the "Jonah" approach to these trials and attempt to run from them, as far and as fast as possible. Some things are just too hard for me to face on my own so I don't even try to face them. They make me feel humiliated and embarrassed. Then again, maybe I need to lose some of my pride, some of this shiny veneer that I've caked around myself, or rather, the image that I project to the world. God will humble me; probably not in a way that I can control or anticipate but I can look to Him for strength to survive it. So many public figures crumble once that veneer is stripped away because there's nothing underneath. I could provide examples but we all can summon names if we tried.
I'm re-reading the Mitford series because I always find depth and richness even within the simple small-town setting. Anyways, Father Tim, the protagonist, finds this quote from Dietrich Bonhoeffer's Life Together:
"We prevent God from giving us the great spiritual gifts He has in store for us, because we do not give thanks for daily gifts. We think we dare not be satisfied with the small measure of spiritual knowledge, experience, and love that has been given to us, and that we must constantly be looking forward eagerly for the highest good. Then we deplore the fact that we lack the deep certainty, the strong faith, and the rich experience that God has given to others, and we consider this lament to be pious...Only he who gives thanks for little things receives the big things."
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Potpourri
To explain the title, in Jeopardy, when they can't think of a category to put many random things in, they call it "potpourri." So, here is some randomness that defies categorization.
It's Sunday and I'm sitting here in Tabernacle Baptist Church listening to some Mat Kearney (if you do not know who that is, that needs to change because he is an amazing artist). We, the Impact staff, got back from the Eastern Shore yesterday and we then proceeded to start the unpacking/clean-up process--which I despise. I'm glad that I have a very motivated team to work with but they like to work late at night which does not work for me. Though last night was mainly a blur, I went to go help them with counting the "Change Matters" money, counted a dollar and seventy-five cents---in pennies-- (I think? o_O) and passed out. Oh yeah, I'm almost certain that I snored because when I'm not sleeping in a bed, something about the alignment messes up my breathing patterns, and did I mention that I was exhausted?
I purchased my plane ticket to England a few days ago!! I depart for London, Heathrow airport on August 24th and return December 22nd. If you can't tell, I'm pretty excited about this semester abroad thing. The traveling, the new experiences, the newness of everything is so invigorating to me. However, I worry that I'm getting too excited about the idealized version of everything that if everything does not go according to plan, then it will result in bitter disappointment. I'm trying not to get my expectations up too high but I also like to be prepared so I've been reading Rick Steve's travel books. Typical me, I know. Maybe being prepared will prevent disappointment? Well, something that has been stressed in travel books is the importance of flexibility. Oh yes, also, when I write of my travels, I shall try to not just recount a list of places that I go to but reflect on how I engage with those places and what I learn from them. This is a promise that my reader(s) must keep me accountable on, promise?
In the meantime, before I depart for England, I am super excited about the things between now and August 24th. CO Liz is coming back for her week long vacation from school and training and all that is associated with military academy life. So, I shall see her and I think I can coerce her into going to see the HP movie again which I have yet to see and perhaps, Star Trek as well? This summer hasn't really provided much time for movies with the exception of My Sister's Keeper which I saw during my three day long vacation two weeks ago. Also, I plan on making a trip up to NY to see K.Tite hopefully with the K.Jones but I am going to practice being flexible. ;) Finally, the 16th is the Tenth Avenue North concert which means I will get to see and hang out with the Mary Wash crowd before I leave!
I think this has the fragrant aroma of potpourri and randomness! I'd love to hear others' summer plans and such. Surprise me.
It's Sunday and I'm sitting here in Tabernacle Baptist Church listening to some Mat Kearney (if you do not know who that is, that needs to change because he is an amazing artist). We, the Impact staff, got back from the Eastern Shore yesterday and we then proceeded to start the unpacking/clean-up process--which I despise. I'm glad that I have a very motivated team to work with but they like to work late at night which does not work for me. Though last night was mainly a blur, I went to go help them with counting the "Change Matters" money, counted a dollar and seventy-five cents---in pennies-- (I think? o_O) and passed out. Oh yeah, I'm almost certain that I snored because when I'm not sleeping in a bed, something about the alignment messes up my breathing patterns, and did I mention that I was exhausted?
I purchased my plane ticket to England a few days ago!! I depart for London, Heathrow airport on August 24th and return December 22nd. If you can't tell, I'm pretty excited about this semester abroad thing. The traveling, the new experiences, the newness of everything is so invigorating to me. However, I worry that I'm getting too excited about the idealized version of everything that if everything does not go according to plan, then it will result in bitter disappointment. I'm trying not to get my expectations up too high but I also like to be prepared so I've been reading Rick Steve's travel books. Typical me, I know. Maybe being prepared will prevent disappointment? Well, something that has been stressed in travel books is the importance of flexibility. Oh yes, also, when I write of my travels, I shall try to not just recount a list of places that I go to but reflect on how I engage with those places and what I learn from them. This is a promise that my reader(s) must keep me accountable on, promise?
In the meantime, before I depart for England, I am super excited about the things between now and August 24th. CO Liz is coming back for her week long vacation from school and training and all that is associated with military academy life. So, I shall see her and I think I can coerce her into going to see the HP movie again which I have yet to see and perhaps, Star Trek as well? This summer hasn't really provided much time for movies with the exception of My Sister's Keeper which I saw during my three day long vacation two weeks ago. Also, I plan on making a trip up to NY to see K.Tite hopefully with the K.Jones but I am going to practice being flexible. ;) Finally, the 16th is the Tenth Avenue North concert which means I will get to see and hang out with the Mary Wash crowd before I leave!
I think this has the fragrant aroma of potpourri and randomness! I'd love to hear others' summer plans and such. Surprise me.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
What Can I Possibly Say?
Tonight, Thursday night, is, at "Christian camp," frequently called the "boo-hoo bonanza." A.K.A. a world-class cry fest. I don't like that it is referred to as such because lasting spiritual reformation does not come as a result of shedding a few tears while you're hugging your friends and then--it's over. The end. Cry fests don't usually involve spiritual reflection that draws us to some aspect of Christ; rather, they serve as an outlet for pent-up emotions that come at the end of a week filled with hard labor and late nights.
Then--it happened. Dana was playing the last song on his guitar ("All in All," I think?) and a young man approached me. I was sitting on the steps on the side of the stage kind of singing along completely unprepared for anyone to actually take up the offer to talk to a staffer if they needed to. I was the staff member of choice for Josh. He looked...to be honest, a bit preppy and sounded a bit preppy too; you know, the polo shirt, gelled hair, polished look. He was a different breed from the group that I hung out with in high school.
He sat down next to me and just started talking about how lost and empty he is feeling. Like he can't grasp God's existence and he's tired of pretending that he does. I mean, I know how the guy feels; he has a reputation to live up to since he serves on Youth council (or something like that) at his church and has to set an example for the younger members of his church. The guy was hurting and emptied his guts to me, a complete stranger! Verses ran through my head but none of them seemed right. Analogies that I had heard collided together and I just sat there wishing that he had confided in someone else. I can be a very empathetic person at times; to the extent that I feel others' pain, almost as much as they feel it themselves. Some would call this shouldering anothers' burden but sometimes it gets to a point where I can't separate my own pain from theirs. I felt Josh's hurt and longing because I know exactly how it feels to project an image to everyone that is merely an illusion. He wants facts of the black and white variety and I felt my own inadequacy in providing him with answers. I didn't even have my Bible with me, for crying out loud!
I like to think that I'm good at giving advice. I may be very particular about taking advice from others but I sure do like to dish it out. I always try to point to Christ in whatever advice I'm giving but that's assuming that He is there as a reference point from which I can base my advice on. So, I listened to Josh for a long time and stumbled my way through a few Bible verses that I knew off the top of my head and referenced some stories in the Bible. I mentioned love and seasons in one's life and just left him with the knowledge that I would be praying for him. Of course the conversation we had was more complex than what I alluded to but it's hard to reproduce an hour long conversation that is already a blur in my memory. Here in this blog I can only describe accurately how I feel about this conversation. I'm certain that God will use the words that I say to some end and I can only hope that God intends for this young man to know Him in the most intimate manner possible at some point in the future.
So, I decided that prayer was the solution. If you read this blog and believe in Christ as your personal savior, etc, etc, please STOP. And pray for Josh, right now. Do it. Just entreat God for this young man's soul to be filled with the Spirit and for him to recognize how God is working in his life. The most eloquent sermon in the world cannot compare to what can be accomplished through prayer. Of this at least, I am convinced.
Til later, dear reader. Good night!
Then--it happened. Dana was playing the last song on his guitar ("All in All," I think?) and a young man approached me. I was sitting on the steps on the side of the stage kind of singing along completely unprepared for anyone to actually take up the offer to talk to a staffer if they needed to. I was the staff member of choice for Josh. He looked...to be honest, a bit preppy and sounded a bit preppy too; you know, the polo shirt, gelled hair, polished look. He was a different breed from the group that I hung out with in high school.
He sat down next to me and just started talking about how lost and empty he is feeling. Like he can't grasp God's existence and he's tired of pretending that he does. I mean, I know how the guy feels; he has a reputation to live up to since he serves on Youth council (or something like that) at his church and has to set an example for the younger members of his church. The guy was hurting and emptied his guts to me, a complete stranger! Verses ran through my head but none of them seemed right. Analogies that I had heard collided together and I just sat there wishing that he had confided in someone else. I can be a very empathetic person at times; to the extent that I feel others' pain, almost as much as they feel it themselves. Some would call this shouldering anothers' burden but sometimes it gets to a point where I can't separate my own pain from theirs. I felt Josh's hurt and longing because I know exactly how it feels to project an image to everyone that is merely an illusion. He wants facts of the black and white variety and I felt my own inadequacy in providing him with answers. I didn't even have my Bible with me, for crying out loud!
I like to think that I'm good at giving advice. I may be very particular about taking advice from others but I sure do like to dish it out. I always try to point to Christ in whatever advice I'm giving but that's assuming that He is there as a reference point from which I can base my advice on. So, I listened to Josh for a long time and stumbled my way through a few Bible verses that I knew off the top of my head and referenced some stories in the Bible. I mentioned love and seasons in one's life and just left him with the knowledge that I would be praying for him. Of course the conversation we had was more complex than what I alluded to but it's hard to reproduce an hour long conversation that is already a blur in my memory. Here in this blog I can only describe accurately how I feel about this conversation. I'm certain that God will use the words that I say to some end and I can only hope that God intends for this young man to know Him in the most intimate manner possible at some point in the future.
So, I decided that prayer was the solution. If you read this blog and believe in Christ as your personal savior, etc, etc, please STOP. And pray for Josh, right now. Do it. Just entreat God for this young man's soul to be filled with the Spirit and for him to recognize how God is working in his life. The most eloquent sermon in the world cannot compare to what can be accomplished through prayer. Of this at least, I am convinced.
Til later, dear reader. Good night!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Be Strong and Do It.
As baptism is a profession of faith through physical deed, I think it's about time that I profess my desire to follow Christ with my words. I've been working here at Impact for about seven weeks now and each of those four weeks that I've actually done camp, God has taught me something about His character, His strength, His worthiness. We are actually serving those who need it most! That's exactly what God calls us to do and I'm afraid that I'm going to settle for mediocrity in my life post-college. I'm afraid that I'm not strong enough to avoid a life rich with material wealth but devoid of anything that I can give to God. I'm afraid that I might waste my life.
Ben, the camp pastor here at camp, tells this story about this mountain in Switzerland. When a snowflake falls on this mountain and melts on the left side, it joins the Rhone river; a river so toxic that you can actually develop film in it because it runs through the industrial parts of Germany. Or, if it melts on the right side of the mountain, it will join the Rhine river; a river that runs through some of the most beautiful parts of France to eventually join the crystal clear waters of the Mediterranean. God has given us the choice to be toxic or otherwise.
“And you, Solomon my son, know the God of your father and serve him with a whole heart and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches all hearts and understands every plan and thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will cast you off forever. Be careful now, for the Lord has chosen you to build a house for the
sanctuary; be strong and do it.” (I Chronicles 28:9-10)
It's getting late and I'm feeling rather sentimental. I don't want this desire to be a mere feeling but rather, I want it to be something that drives me mad. I want a current to run through me, much like electricity actually. If you are struck by lightening, that energy isn't meant to stay within you; it needs somewhere to go. To mildly describe God's power, He is like a bolt of electricity.
Before this summer, I think I expressed on a few occasions how uncomfortable I felt around kids. This summer, that has totally changed. We encounter the homeowner's kids on a regular basis and I love talking to the younger kids and playing with them. Yesterday, I met a little girl named Serena. She stood out to me because she had a bowl cut similar to the one that I had when I was little. The only toy she had was a bear that a kind elderly lady from church had given her. This bear had a wedding veil and flowers. Of course! It had just gotten married! She grasped this bear tight as she praced around her dusty yard behind the trailer that they couldn't live in because it didn't have plumbing and in front of the tiny trailer that her mom, her brother and her did live in. It just broke my heart.
Speaking of my heart, I'm not usually this honest on my blog but I have to get this out. A few years ago, I went to an Intervarsity meeting where they invited a speaker to talk about sex trafficking and a home that they have for girls who were victimized by sex trafficking to recover and even have futures! However, I don't know where to start to find where I can help. I've been trying for so long to look for opportunities by myself and I'm thinking it's time that I find a mentor who can advise me and direct me towards opportunities to serve. I'm in it for the long haul. James says that "religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." It's just a matter of being strong in order to do it. Christianity is not easy and if I ever get to a point where I start to think that it is easy, I'll have some serious reevaluating to do.
Wow...not having access to facebook or my e-mail has really left me with a lot of time to blog. Maybe this should be a trend!
Ben, the camp pastor here at camp, tells this story about this mountain in Switzerland. When a snowflake falls on this mountain and melts on the left side, it joins the Rhone river; a river so toxic that you can actually develop film in it because it runs through the industrial parts of Germany. Or, if it melts on the right side of the mountain, it will join the Rhine river; a river that runs through some of the most beautiful parts of France to eventually join the crystal clear waters of the Mediterranean. God has given us the choice to be toxic or otherwise.
“And you, Solomon my son, know the God of your father and serve him with a whole heart and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches all hearts and understands every plan and thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will cast you off forever. Be careful now, for the Lord has chosen you to build a house for the
sanctuary; be strong and do it.” (I Chronicles 28:9-10)
It's getting late and I'm feeling rather sentimental. I don't want this desire to be a mere feeling but rather, I want it to be something that drives me mad. I want a current to run through me, much like electricity actually. If you are struck by lightening, that energy isn't meant to stay within you; it needs somewhere to go. To mildly describe God's power, He is like a bolt of electricity.
Before this summer, I think I expressed on a few occasions how uncomfortable I felt around kids. This summer, that has totally changed. We encounter the homeowner's kids on a regular basis and I love talking to the younger kids and playing with them. Yesterday, I met a little girl named Serena. She stood out to me because she had a bowl cut similar to the one that I had when I was little. The only toy she had was a bear that a kind elderly lady from church had given her. This bear had a wedding veil and flowers. Of course! It had just gotten married! She grasped this bear tight as she praced around her dusty yard behind the trailer that they couldn't live in because it didn't have plumbing and in front of the tiny trailer that her mom, her brother and her did live in. It just broke my heart.
Speaking of my heart, I'm not usually this honest on my blog but I have to get this out. A few years ago, I went to an Intervarsity meeting where they invited a speaker to talk about sex trafficking and a home that they have for girls who were victimized by sex trafficking to recover and even have futures! However, I don't know where to start to find where I can help. I've been trying for so long to look for opportunities by myself and I'm thinking it's time that I find a mentor who can advise me and direct me towards opportunities to serve. I'm in it for the long haul. James says that "religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." It's just a matter of being strong in order to do it. Christianity is not easy and if I ever get to a point where I start to think that it is easy, I'll have some serious reevaluating to do.
Wow...not having access to facebook or my e-mail has really left me with a lot of time to blog. Maybe this should be a trend!
Monday, July 20, 2009
My Testimonizzle-- no, that's not a dirty word.
For the past four weeks of Impact, I've shared my testimony every Monday night and it has changed over the course of the summer. I spent a lot of time preparing for tonight and I actually typed it out so I thought I'd share it here--exclusive! Remember, it's a little bit different in its written format than its spoken presented format. If you feel led to share your own testimony with me, I'd love to hear it.
Raised in the Lutheran Church; baptized as an infant, confirmed at the end of 8th grade—meaning that I was considered an adult in the church. I could recite the liturgy and I knew many of the hymns that we sang almost by heart but I despised going to church because I thought it was boring. However, in reality, it was because I didn’t see the point behind the liturgy and the other parts of the worship services. I believed that God existed but I didn’t care to know anything else. I had knowledge about Christ but I certainly didn’t know Him. My “Christianity” consisted of going to church and Sunday school religiously and saying a quick prayer before dinner.
Here is where God intervened. Understand that He will pursue a relationship with you even when—especially when— you’re farthest from Him. My best friend, Jillian, moved back to my neighborhood after living in Turkey for a couple years because her mom worked for the State Department. I attended services with her a few times at her Baptist church. If you’ve never been to a traditional Lutheran service then it’s hard to understand how different Baptist services are with the contemporary music and a sermon that feels relevant… but it was through Jillian’s life that I witnessed the reality of Christ. She certainly embodied the fruits of the Spirit; a concept I didn’t understand at the time but could still sense a difference between her life and my own.
I wanted my life to look like hers and this desire grew into a prayer. I can’t remember specifically praying the sinner’s prayer and being baptized because that’s not how it works in the Lutheran church but over time, I was certain that God loved me and wanted to know me. So that’s how I first became a Christian. The verse from Romans, chapter 8, is apt here: “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.”
That’s a glimpse of what my faith looked like up until college. I decided to go to the University of Mary Washington in Fredericksburg, VA (pause for cheers from Ferry Farm) and God blessed me with Christian community in the Baptist Collegiate Ministries; something that I hadn’t before been part of to this extent. All of a sudden, I was surrounded with friends to support and encourage me towards a greater knowledge and understanding of Christ. I recommend finding a Christian ministry to plug into once you get to college because there are many options; it’s just a matter of finding one that fits.
So what is God doing in my life today? I’ve learned an incredible amount through doing Impact this summer. God has taught me a lot about what the fruits of the Spirit look like through the examples of others and through times when I have been pushed to either walk by the Spirit or ignore His urgings. Here’s the verse from Galatians that I’m referencing: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”
The ones that stand out the most to me are joy, patience, and faithfulness. The Biblical Greek term from Paul's spiritual 'orchard' in Galatians is chara—Ben likes a splash of Greek and so do I— which can mean joy, cheer, gladness, or celebration. Joy runs deeper than mere pleasure; especially in a spiritual context, it runs deep into the the core of us, and radiates throughout. I’ve been challenged to display this cheer when it’s 5:45 AM and it’s my turn to help Nick get the ice in the coolers and then I realize, Nick does this every day and doesn’t complain. In fact, he’s a pretty happy guy when he’s doing the ice. Now that’s joy.
I’ve also been challenged this summer to display patience. The Greek term in Galatians 5:22 is makrothumia [makro- (long, distant in time or space, large-view) + thumos (passion, rage, the emotions of suffering)], with a usual meaning of having an enduringly-calm temper. Many times this summer, I’ve been pushed to the brink by something, often trivial, and I respond in a very human way. However, I’ve been convicted in this regard through the examples set by those around me. For instance, I visited a jobsite at Wise where one of the crew chiefs was willing to teach me how to nail pickets onto a wheelchair ramp and I, of course, messed up. He didn’t lose his temper; he simply helped take the nail out and showed me a better technique. These are the kinds of situations that crew chiefs encounter all the time. The Spirit counsels patience and the only way that we can attain it is through prayer. In Ephesians, Paul counsels us to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love.”
Finally, God has challenged me to be faithful. Going along with the theme for the week, flipped. God has flipped many of my expectations for the future. One of my best friends at school is dropping out to pursue a program in surgical technology. I’ll admit that this really shook me at first. I didn’t understand why this person in whom I placed so much value had to leave. I then realized that God is pushing me to trust in Him and no one else. He wants me to look beyond myself and what the repercussions are insomuch as they affect me and fix my gaze on Him alone. God simply tells to trust in Him and to lay our futures in His hands.
I’ll close with one of my favorite quotes by St. Francis de Sales which I actually have written down twice in my notebook: “Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow; the same everlasting Father who cares for you today will take care of you tomorrow and every day. Either He will shield you from suffering, or he will give you unfailing strength to bear it.”
Raised in the Lutheran Church; baptized as an infant, confirmed at the end of 8th grade—meaning that I was considered an adult in the church. I could recite the liturgy and I knew many of the hymns that we sang almost by heart but I despised going to church because I thought it was boring. However, in reality, it was because I didn’t see the point behind the liturgy and the other parts of the worship services. I believed that God existed but I didn’t care to know anything else. I had knowledge about Christ but I certainly didn’t know Him. My “Christianity” consisted of going to church and Sunday school religiously and saying a quick prayer before dinner.
Here is where God intervened. Understand that He will pursue a relationship with you even when—especially when— you’re farthest from Him. My best friend, Jillian, moved back to my neighborhood after living in Turkey for a couple years because her mom worked for the State Department. I attended services with her a few times at her Baptist church. If you’ve never been to a traditional Lutheran service then it’s hard to understand how different Baptist services are with the contemporary music and a sermon that feels relevant… but it was through Jillian’s life that I witnessed the reality of Christ. She certainly embodied the fruits of the Spirit; a concept I didn’t understand at the time but could still sense a difference between her life and my own.
I wanted my life to look like hers and this desire grew into a prayer. I can’t remember specifically praying the sinner’s prayer and being baptized because that’s not how it works in the Lutheran church but over time, I was certain that God loved me and wanted to know me. So that’s how I first became a Christian. The verse from Romans, chapter 8, is apt here: “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.”
That’s a glimpse of what my faith looked like up until college. I decided to go to the University of Mary Washington in Fredericksburg, VA (pause for cheers from Ferry Farm) and God blessed me with Christian community in the Baptist Collegiate Ministries; something that I hadn’t before been part of to this extent. All of a sudden, I was surrounded with friends to support and encourage me towards a greater knowledge and understanding of Christ. I recommend finding a Christian ministry to plug into once you get to college because there are many options; it’s just a matter of finding one that fits.
So what is God doing in my life today? I’ve learned an incredible amount through doing Impact this summer. God has taught me a lot about what the fruits of the Spirit look like through the examples of others and through times when I have been pushed to either walk by the Spirit or ignore His urgings. Here’s the verse from Galatians that I’m referencing: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”
The ones that stand out the most to me are joy, patience, and faithfulness. The Biblical Greek term from Paul's spiritual 'orchard' in Galatians is chara—Ben likes a splash of Greek and so do I— which can mean joy, cheer, gladness, or celebration. Joy runs deeper than mere pleasure; especially in a spiritual context, it runs deep into the the core of us, and radiates throughout. I’ve been challenged to display this cheer when it’s 5:45 AM and it’s my turn to help Nick get the ice in the coolers and then I realize, Nick does this every day and doesn’t complain. In fact, he’s a pretty happy guy when he’s doing the ice. Now that’s joy.
I’ve also been challenged this summer to display patience. The Greek term in Galatians 5:22 is makrothumia [makro- (long, distant in time or space, large-view) + thumos (passion, rage, the emotions of suffering)], with a usual meaning of having an enduringly-calm temper. Many times this summer, I’ve been pushed to the brink by something, often trivial, and I respond in a very human way. However, I’ve been convicted in this regard through the examples set by those around me. For instance, I visited a jobsite at Wise where one of the crew chiefs was willing to teach me how to nail pickets onto a wheelchair ramp and I, of course, messed up. He didn’t lose his temper; he simply helped take the nail out and showed me a better technique. These are the kinds of situations that crew chiefs encounter all the time. The Spirit counsels patience and the only way that we can attain it is through prayer. In Ephesians, Paul counsels us to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love.”
Finally, God has challenged me to be faithful. Going along with the theme for the week, flipped. God has flipped many of my expectations for the future. One of my best friends at school is dropping out to pursue a program in surgical technology. I’ll admit that this really shook me at first. I didn’t understand why this person in whom I placed so much value had to leave. I then realized that God is pushing me to trust in Him and no one else. He wants me to look beyond myself and what the repercussions are insomuch as they affect me and fix my gaze on Him alone. God simply tells to trust in Him and to lay our futures in His hands.
I’ll close with one of my favorite quotes by St. Francis de Sales which I actually have written down twice in my notebook: “Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow; the same everlasting Father who cares for you today will take care of you tomorrow and every day. Either He will shield you from suffering, or he will give you unfailing strength to bear it.”
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