Thursday, July 23, 2009

What Can I Possibly Say?

Tonight, Thursday night, is, at "Christian camp," frequently called the "boo-hoo bonanza." A.K.A. a world-class cry fest. I don't like that it is referred to as such because lasting spiritual reformation does not come as a result of shedding a few tears while you're hugging your friends and then--it's over. The end. Cry fests don't usually involve spiritual reflection that draws us to some aspect of Christ; rather, they serve as an outlet for pent-up emotions that come at the end of a week filled with hard labor and late nights.

Then--it happened. Dana was playing the last song on his guitar ("All in All," I think?) and a young man approached me. I was sitting on the steps on the side of the stage kind of singing along completely unprepared for anyone to actually take up the offer to talk to a staffer if they needed to. I was the staff member of choice for Josh. He looked...to be honest, a bit preppy and sounded a bit preppy too; you know, the polo shirt, gelled hair, polished look. He was a different breed from the group that I hung out with in high school.

He sat down next to me and just started talking about how lost and empty he is feeling. Like he can't grasp God's existence and he's tired of pretending that he does. I mean, I know how the guy feels; he has a reputation to live up to since he serves on Youth council (or something like that) at his church and has to set an example for the younger members of his church. The guy was hurting and emptied his guts to me, a complete stranger! Verses ran through my head but none of them seemed right. Analogies that I had heard collided together and I just sat there wishing that he had confided in someone else. I can be a very empathetic person at times; to the extent that I feel others' pain, almost as much as they feel it themselves. Some would call this shouldering anothers' burden but sometimes it gets to a point where I can't separate my own pain from theirs. I felt Josh's hurt and longing because I know exactly how it feels to project an image to everyone that is merely an illusion. He wants facts of the black and white variety and I felt my own inadequacy in providing him with answers. I didn't even have my Bible with me, for crying out loud!

I like to think that I'm good at giving advice. I may be very particular about taking advice from others but I sure do like to dish it out. I always try to point to Christ in whatever advice I'm giving but that's assuming that He is there as a reference point from which I can base my advice on. So, I listened to Josh for a long time and stumbled my way through a few Bible verses that I knew off the top of my head and referenced some stories in the Bible. I mentioned love and seasons in one's life and just left him with the knowledge that I would be praying for him. Of course the conversation we had was more complex than what I alluded to but it's hard to reproduce an hour long conversation that is already a blur in my memory. Here in this blog I can only describe accurately how I feel about this conversation. I'm certain that God will use the words that I say to some end and I can only hope that God intends for this young man to know Him in the most intimate manner possible at some point in the future.

So, I decided that prayer was the solution. If you read this blog and believe in Christ as your personal savior, etc, etc, please STOP. And pray for Josh, right now. Do it. Just entreat God for this young man's soul to be filled with the Spirit and for him to recognize how God is working in his life. The most eloquent sermon in the world cannot compare to what can be accomplished through prayer. Of this at least, I am convinced.

Til later, dear reader. Good night!

2 comments:

Gillian said...

Claire-Your post just inspired me to have some amazing prayer time with God. Thank you.

Claire said...

Yay! The imperative "do it" worked! Did you pray for Josh?