My Testimonizzle-- no, that's not a dirty word.

For the past four weeks of Impact, I've shared my testimony every Monday night and it has changed over the course of the summer. I spent a lot of time preparing for tonight and I actually typed it out so I thought I'd share it here--exclusive! Remember, it's a little bit different in its written format than its spoken presented format. If you feel led to share your own testimony with me, I'd love to hear it.

Raised in the Lutheran Church; baptized as an infant, confirmed at the end of 8th grade—meaning that I was considered an adult in the church. I could recite the liturgy and I knew many of the hymns that we sang almost by heart but I despised going to church because I thought it was boring. However, in reality, it was because I didn’t see the point behind the liturgy and the other parts of the worship services. I believed that God existed but I didn’t care to know anything else. I had knowledge about Christ but I certainly didn’t know Him. My “Christianity” consisted of going to church and Sunday school religiously and saying a quick prayer before dinner.

Here is where God intervened. Understand that He will pursue a relationship with you even when—especially when— you’re farthest from Him. My best friend, Jillian, moved back to my neighborhood after living in Turkey for a couple years because her mom worked for the State Department. I attended services with her a few times at her Baptist church. If you’ve never been to a traditional Lutheran service then it’s hard to understand how different Baptist services are with the contemporary music and a sermon that feels relevant… but it was through Jillian’s life that I witnessed the reality of Christ. She certainly embodied the fruits of the Spirit; a concept I didn’t understand at the time but could still sense a difference between her life and my own.

I wanted my life to look like hers and this desire grew into a prayer. I can’t remember specifically praying the sinner’s prayer and being baptized because that’s not how it works in the Lutheran church but over time, I was certain that God loved me and wanted to know me. So that’s how I first became a Christian. The verse from Romans, chapter 8, is apt here: “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.”


That’s a glimpse of what my faith looked like up until college. I decided to go to the University of Mary Washington in Fredericksburg, VA (pause for cheers from Ferry Farm) and God blessed me with Christian community in the Baptist Collegiate Ministries; something that I hadn’t before been part of to this extent. All of a sudden, I was surrounded with friends to support and encourage me towards a greater knowledge and understanding of Christ. I recommend finding a Christian ministry to plug into once you get to college because there are many options; it’s just a matter of finding one that fits.

So what is God doing in my life today? I’ve learned an incredible amount through doing Impact this summer. God has taught me a lot about what the fruits of the Spirit look like through the examples of others and through times when I have been pushed to either walk by the Spirit or ignore His urgings. Here’s the verse from Galatians that I’m referencing: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”

The ones that stand out the most to me are joy, patience, and faithfulness. The Biblical Greek term from Paul's spiritual 'orchard' in Galatians is chara—Ben likes a splash of Greek and so do I— which can mean joy, cheer, gladness, or celebration. Joy runs deeper than mere pleasure; especially in a spiritual context, it runs deep into the the core of us, and radiates throughout. I’ve been challenged to display this cheer when it’s 5:45 AM and it’s my turn to help Nick get the ice in the coolers and then I realize, Nick does this every day and doesn’t complain. In fact, he’s a pretty happy guy when he’s doing the ice. Now that’s joy.

I’ve also been challenged this summer to display patience. The Greek term in Galatians 5:22 is makrothumia [makro- (long, distant in time or space, large-view) + thumos (passion, rage, the emotions of suffering)], with a usual meaning of having an enduringly-calm temper. Many times this summer, I’ve been pushed to the brink by something, often trivial, and I respond in a very human way. However, I’ve been convicted in this regard through the examples set by those around me. For instance, I visited a jobsite at Wise where one of the crew chiefs was willing to teach me how to nail pickets onto a wheelchair ramp and I, of course, messed up. He didn’t lose his temper; he simply helped take the nail out and showed me a better technique. These are the kinds of situations that crew chiefs encounter all the time. The Spirit counsels patience and the only way that we can attain it is through prayer. In Ephesians, Paul counsels us to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love.”

Finally, God has challenged me to be faithful. Going along with the theme for the week, flipped. God has flipped many of my expectations for the future. One of my best friends at school is dropping out to pursue a program in surgical technology. I’ll admit that this really shook me at first. I didn’t understand why this person in whom I placed so much value had to leave. I then realized that God is pushing me to trust in Him and no one else. He wants me to look beyond myself and what the repercussions are insomuch as they affect me and fix my gaze on Him alone. God simply tells to trust in Him and to lay our futures in His hands.

I’ll close with one of my favorite quotes by St. Francis de Sales which I actually have written down twice in my notebook: “Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow; the same everlasting Father who cares for you today will take care of you tomorrow and every day. Either He will shield you from suffering, or he will give you unfailing strength to bear it.”