As baptism is a profession of faith through physical deed, I think it's about time that I profess my desire to follow Christ with my words. I've been working here at Impact for about seven weeks now and each of those four weeks that I've actually done camp, God has taught me something about His character, His strength, His worthiness. We are actually serving those who need it most! That's exactly what God calls us to do and I'm afraid that I'm going to settle for mediocrity in my life post-college. I'm afraid that I'm not strong enough to avoid a life rich with material wealth but devoid of anything that I can give to God. I'm afraid that I might waste my life.
Ben, the camp pastor here at camp, tells this story about this mountain in Switzerland. When a snowflake falls on this mountain and melts on the left side, it joins the Rhone river; a river so toxic that you can actually develop film in it because it runs through the industrial parts of Germany. Or, if it melts on the right side of the mountain, it will join the Rhine river; a river that runs through some of the most beautiful parts of France to eventually join the crystal clear waters of the Mediterranean. God has given us the choice to be toxic or otherwise.
“And you, Solomon my son, know the God of your father and serve him with a whole heart and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches all hearts and understands every plan and thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will cast you off forever. Be careful now, for the Lord has chosen you to build a house for the
sanctuary; be strong and do it.” (I Chronicles 28:9-10)
It's getting late and I'm feeling rather sentimental. I don't want this desire to be a mere feeling but rather, I want it to be something that drives me mad. I want a current to run through me, much like electricity actually. If you are struck by lightening, that energy isn't meant to stay within you; it needs somewhere to go. To mildly describe God's power, He is like a bolt of electricity.
Before this summer, I think I expressed on a few occasions how uncomfortable I felt around kids. This summer, that has totally changed. We encounter the homeowner's kids on a regular basis and I love talking to the younger kids and playing with them. Yesterday, I met a little girl named Serena. She stood out to me because she had a bowl cut similar to the one that I had when I was little. The only toy she had was a bear that a kind elderly lady from church had given her. This bear had a wedding veil and flowers. Of course! It had just gotten married! She grasped this bear tight as she praced around her dusty yard behind the trailer that they couldn't live in because it didn't have plumbing and in front of the tiny trailer that her mom, her brother and her did live in. It just broke my heart.
Speaking of my heart, I'm not usually this honest on my blog but I have to get this out. A few years ago, I went to an Intervarsity meeting where they invited a speaker to talk about sex trafficking and a home that they have for girls who were victimized by sex trafficking to recover and even have futures! However, I don't know where to start to find where I can help. I've been trying for so long to look for opportunities by myself and I'm thinking it's time that I find a mentor who can advise me and direct me towards opportunities to serve. I'm in it for the long haul. James says that "religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." It's just a matter of being strong in order to do it. Christianity is not easy and if I ever get to a point where I start to think that it is easy, I'll have some serious reevaluating to do.
Wow...not having access to facebook or my e-mail has really left me with a lot of time to blog. Maybe this should be a trend!
2 comments:
"If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will cast you off forever."
Do you really feel like that's true? God's so benevolent (I really don't feel like God's the wrath-filled He in the Bible) that I think God always takes you back, if you feel guilty and repent. Hm.
Well I'm still stuck in trying to believe in God fully and unquestioningly..I'm hoping I'll get to the actual stage of carrying out God's message soon! When I first realized I believed in God, and then I realized God's message, I just said to Mary Ellen, "How do you handle this pressure?" (Which I think I wrote in my blog somewhere.) It sounds totally overwhelming. Good luck!
-Amanda
Well, I guess this verse is a little out of context to take it at its word. I was really just focusing on the part where God made the first Nike commercial (Just Do It)... I do, however, kind of think it is true. If we forsake God--and never return to Him--then we have no salvation and no eternal life. That is to say that I do believe in God's abundant mercy but it requires action on our parts. It't that whole faith thing. That is the action that triggers the grace, etc, etc. God does take us back...we just have to seek Him first!
I guess it's a bit overwhelming to believe everything that God says but then again, I don't have the brain capacity to grasp/comprehend everything that God says. Thank goodness! If God made me capable of understanding every facet of His character--well, He wouldn't be God anymore.
PS: I am "following" you now! Keep up the writing. I love reading it (now that I know it exists) and I love knowing that there is someone out there to listen to my own existential blathering!
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